sweet-tea-skitty:

sanguineshade:

I love uninstalling shit. Get out of my computer.

i also love using task manager to kill things! Cease this

calamitysong:

I P address? baby it’s called the bathroom 😂

datasoong47:

of-earthandlight:

glowcowboy:

gonna take a hot shower and put on a big t shirt and my undies and i’m gonna sit on the floor and color at my coffee table like im 6 years old again and then i’ll feel better

This works btw

cartoonrival:

kingcatnine:

it’s good that the word “four” is “four” letters long

powerbottombrucespringsteen:

homunculus-argument:

I could never own a parrot. They are splendid and delightful joyful creatures but I could not match their fucking whimsy. If I woke up at 4:45 am on a tuesday to the sound of some gleeful feather-cloaked varmint doing aerial somersaults all over the house while singing the world’s most high-pitched whistle nightcore one-man a capella cover of Funkytown, I’d eat it.

pointnclick:

rappin-drakken:

twice a many ostriches as usual

kermittingacrime:

crunchymayo:

3liza:

3liza:

innerchildabortionclinic:

segamascott:

sexhaver:

this tweet singlehandedly destroyed my speech patterns for a solid month in college

smoqueen:

markodragic:

markodragic:

I love love love saying “I scavenged a working microwave in the boylands” but nobody ever knows the reference and it breaks my heart

like, the first time I ever saw this I laughed so hard I started choking on spit but it’s just not the kind of thing you can share with the average person in your life. this world is so cruel

guooey:

judepiter:

ill never forget when my noob grandfather despawned right before my eyes